10 Lousy Lies Bosses Tell, That You Should Know

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Jul 18 2014
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Every June or December, you would see tons of job advertisements. If there aren’t chances are the economy is not doing well hence the recession is around the corner. Employees would be extra cautious during such challenging time. Companies choose either middle or end of the year as their financial year-end. This is also the time companies announce their yearly bonus and increment.


Of course there are MNCs (multi national companies) that release earnings quarterly and hence their compensation system work proportionately too. Naturally, employees would start jumping ships after their bonuses and the cycle of job interviews, appraisals, resignations, counter-offers and whatnot repeats itself. But beware of “flowerish” (if there’s such word) language or lies that bosses or prospect employers will tell you.



{ Lie #1 }  We Can’t Pay You More


In reality the company has tons of money but they are not spending on you. Do you really believe the slogan that says “People Are Our Greatest Asset”? Bosses have their set of P&L (profit and loss) statement to deliver. They won’t spend on you till the last penny before they tell you the company can’t pay you more. They’ve other priorities and your salary is the least on their list.

10 Lies Bosses Tell - We Can't Pay You More

Every boss will do the same thing – do more with less – squeezing every drop of your juice by paying you as little as possible. So, when you hear this lie from your boss, it’s a sign you should start looking for another job. Or re-negotiate your compensation agreement with your boss.



{ Lie #2 }  I’m Paying You A Competitive Salary


This lie could be useful during the dinosaur age where internet would be laughed at the moment it’s being mentioned. Unless employees (that’s you, dude) are superbly stupid, they would launch Google and check it on the web to ascertain your statement. They can easily check the average salary of their position, and compare how much they were underpaid, and how good a liar was their boss.

10 Lies Bosses Tell - I'm Paying You A Competitive Salary

What this means is the bosses is paying you what they can afford. There’s a huge chance your boss is underpaying you if he uses the above statement. And if this was what interviewer told you, it simply means the company cannot pay you higher than what your skill can actually demand. You deserve more that what was offered.



{ Lie #3 }  We’re One Big Happy Family


Every time my former boss said this during annual appraisal, I couldn’t help but fell off my chair laughing. It reminds me of Barney’s “I Love You” song that wraps up every Barney and Friends episode. Frankly, I was quite terrified that my boss would suddenly sing the Barney song follows by a hug or a kiss (*yuck*). You can only accept this statement if you’re from a wealthy and happy family.

10 Lies Bosses Tell - We're One Big Happy Family

Here’s the trick if your boss tells you the above statement. Tell him that in a big happy family, everything is shared equally hence you should get the same amount of salary, company’s car and other perks enjoyed by bosses. So unless you’re working for fun and not money, this lie actually means the boss wants you to be happy no matter how terribly you are underpaid.



{ Lie #4 }  My Hands Are Tied


Have you ever heard of this – “I’ve tried my best to get you the raise or promotion, but sales are down so my hands are tied’? There’s only one reason for such a lie. Your boss didn’t try hard enough or worse still, he didn’t even lift a finger to make it happen. On the contrary, he could be fighting nail and tooth for his own raise or promotion, so much so that he has to sacrifice others’ salaries in favour of his own.

10 Lies Bosses Tell - My Hands Are Tied

Of course there’re exceptions that your boss might had indeed fight for it but unfortunately, he was a weak leader who would not blink twice about making a U-turn about it the moment his own superior rejects it. Either way, you should start looking for a new job as there’s no career prospect in such an organization.



{ Lie #5 }  There’s No Truth To The Layoff Rumours


This statement can only means one thing – the layoff or retrenchment is definitely going to happen. And anyone with half a brain will be in their office re-writing their resume. When even your hamster knows that no layoff rumour is true until it has been officially denied, you would be the stupidest person on planet Earth to actually believe this layoff denial.

10 Lies Bosses Tell - There's No Truth To The Layoff Rumours

Unless you’re just starting your career and being naive, you should trigger your escape plan and stop wasting time cursing your boss for such a blatant lie. Chances are your boss is equally shivering, trembling and shaking all over fighting for his own career. This actually came from a stock investing and trading tactic – buy the rumour, sell the news.



{ Lie #6 }  Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset


This is another big time bullshit, specifically designed to make employees feel good and work their arse off for the company. This is no different from President Obama’s “Change” or PM Najib’s “1Malaysia” sloganeering. There’re actually tons of other assets that are more valuable than you. The only industry that deserves such statement is the construction sector where they need tons of cheap labours (*grin*) from India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh to help build high-rise buildings.

10 Lies Bosses Tell - Employeees Are Our Most Valuable Asset

This statement has no purpose other than to motivate naive employees and as a gesture to say “We value your contribution”, but if you’re thinking of asking for a raise just because you believe our marketing gimmick above, you can go fly kite. Heck, the company that keeps screaming this statement is actually the same company that doesn’t value their employees the most.



{ Lie #7 }  Your Feedback Will Be Confidential


This doesn’t happen often but when it does, the company is usually in big trouble with very high turnover. If your organization is huge and wealthy enough, they would normally spend unnecessarily money hiring independent consultants to study areas of problem. And these consultants’ job is to conduct a survey or questionnaires to solicits criticisms of the company or its management. Don’t fall for it – it’s a trap!!!

10 Lies Bosses Tell - Your Feedback Will Be Confidential

Unless the survey allows you to print your supposedly complaints at home, seal it inside an anonymous envelope and drops it into an empty huge box without police escort, you shouldn’t tell the truth in the survey. Their goal was to nail the culprits who criticise or bad-mouth the company’s management.



{ Lie #8 }  This Is A 9-To-5 Job


Yeah right, and pigs are flying in my garden. Remember what we said earlier about companies that want you to do more with less? Well, there’s no such thing as 40-hours a week job anymore. Unless you’re in the low level jobs where you’re protected under certain mumbo-jumbo labour law or unions, and in the process paid peanuts, chances are high you’re expected to work beyond the 9-to-5 official working hours. Get yourself ready to work overtime without any compensation.

10 Lies Bosses Tell - This Is A 9-To-5 Job

This is one of the reasons skilled jobs such as IT can afford to ask for a higher pay than other less demanding industry. So, be smart and ask for the sky during salary negotiation, as you would be “forced” to work like a mule, not to mention on-call 24×7 in some cases. On the bright side, you’re paid in advance if somehow the project goes smooth, or not taking off at all (*grin*).



{ Lie #9 }  Your Raise Is Already Above Average


This is another simple trick to make employees feel good as if he or she has just won the World Cup. If you’re in a company whereby your compensation (annual raise or bonus) is derived from the same amount of profit money as for everyone, chances are your boss would be using this statement year-in-year-out. And if you care to check around, your boss would be telling the same thing to everybody.

10 Lies Bosses Tell - Your Raise Is Already Above Average

That’s the reason why employees are discouraged from sharing supposedly sensitive salary information among themselves. And if this is your first day walking into your first job, don’t be an idiot sharing your salary information with everyone you meet including the tea lady, especially when you enter as executive level. It could create hell lots of havoc and you would probably blacklisted for the next appraisal.



{ Lie #10 }  We Appreciate Hard Work & Reward It


Bullshit!!!!! This is only applicable for newbies or new birds who are 110% charged and motivated on their first day of a new job. Do you really believe the management will reward you for hard work? Hell no, because they expect you to work your arse off in the first place. Why are there so many dumb bosses with smart and brilliant employees? That’s because hard work doesn’t pay and you’re not suppose to work hard.

10 Lies Bosses Tell - We Appreciate Hard Work & Reward It

The keyword here is to work smart by rubbing shoulders with the right bosses and join their club. Most of the bosses who entitled to a sexy secretary and a nice room spend most of their time monitoring stock market. Their incompetency is beyond words in Oxford dictionary and they expect you to be dumb, in order to join their exclusive club. If you’re too smart and work hard, they would make sure you’re under their rule, forever.


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