Finally, Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak has responded after a series of attacks from Mahathir Mohamad, who happens to rule the country for an astonishing 22-year. In a normal circumstances, it would be easier to get a hamster to sing “Billie Jeans” than to get Mr Najib to respond to various scandals and allegations under his administration. But since the attacks came from Mahathir, he has no choice but to open his “golden mouth”.

 

But audience soon realised it was sort of a “scam” – the interview on private but government-controlled television station TV3 wasn’t aired “live”. Instead it was pre-scripted and pre-recorded. Naturally, netizens took it to Twitter, mocking the prime minister for being such a coward. Besides, the interview was a waste of time because it was another session of denials, and more denials.

On a second thought, it would have been better if the pre-scripted and pre-recorded interview hadn’t taken place. Now, people are demanding a real “live debate” between Najib and Mahathir, which is very unlikely to happen. PM Najib should have kept his mouth shut and maintained his trademarked “elegant silence”. In reality, Mahathir simply can’t do much if Najib plays dumb, pretending it’s business as usual.

 

Najib should just let the 90-year-old Mahathir barks for as long as he desires. After getting himself tired of barking, the old man would probably give up. When was the last time you could move a mule by simply accusing it of scandals such as Altantuya murder, 1MDB plunder, wasteful private jet and whatnot? Heck, Mahathir could probably die of young age out of frustration, if Najib had played dumb.

But Najib’s brilliant advisers thought it was a genius move to go on a pre-scripted and pre-recorded interview to counter Mahathir’s volleys of attack. Didn’t they know it was Mahathir’s bait to lure the virgin out of a brothel (*grin*)? Now that virgin Najib is out in the open, people are demanding him to strip naked and dance with Mahathir. Of course, people do not want to see a strip dance between Najib and Mahathir.

 

People want a live debate between Najib and Mahathir to clear all the doubts about scandals presently hitting Najib administration. But will there be a live debate between both giants? No prizes for guesing who will get slaughtered, if there’ll be one at all. Still, should a live debate goes live, it could ended up like below, or even worse.

Mahathir:	Good day Mr Najib. I’m actually flabbergasted that you’re willing to offer yourself for this debate. Not that I’m saying you were a coward, of course (*evil smirk*).
Najib:	Thank you for having me Mr Mahathir, I mean “Tun”. In reality, I’ve no issue debating with anyone. I’m no coward. But you know how busy it was being a prime minister.
Mahathir:	Are we live now?
Najib:	Live? What live? I thought this should be another pre-recorded interview! Well, I mean, considering your age, it would be unfair to put you on a live debate. I respect you very much, Tun, so I’m concern about your health.
Mahathir:	That’s OK, Najib. Despite my age, I believe I still can manage an hour or two of live debate (*grin*).
Najib:	*GULP*
Mahathir:	Relax Najib, just consider this as a pre-recorded interview, instead of a live debate, if that will make you comfortable.
Najib:	It’s OK, Tun (*wiping sweat and saliva with a handkerchief*).
Mahathir:	Let’s start with Mongolian Altantuya. She was allegedly involved in the purchase of submarine scandal … (*before Mahathir could finished*)
Najib:	I did not know her!!
Mahathir:	I’ve actually talked to Sirul’s mother. You know Sirul, right? It’s cruel to send him to the death penalty when what he did was merely carrying out “orders” … (*again, before Mahathir could finished *)
Najib:	Rubbish!! He talks rubbish!! It’s nonsense.
Mahathir:	But as your former personal bodyguard, shouldn’t his allegation at least be investigated to ensure who actually gave the instruction to kill Altantuya with military-grade C4, who was also pregnant then?
Najib:	There’s no evidence I knew Altantuya. Police have investigated – no witness, no photographs, nothing. Sirul talks nonsense.
Mahathir:	That’s funny. Any idea why Altantuya’s immigration records went missing?
Najib:	I did not know her!! I don’t know!!
Mahathir:	There was also allegation that you told your buddy Razak Baginda that Altantuya was susceptible to anal intercourse, so isn’t it true you knew her?
Najib:	No, it’s not true. I did not know her. With the exception of my visit to Port Dickson … (*Oops!*)
Mahathir:	Let’s move on to 1MDB scandal. Why couldn’t pay interest of RM2 billion if this project really has RM52 billion in assets versus RM42 billion in debt? Why need to beg for money from Ananda Krishnan just to pay interest?
Najib:	That’s a lie. 1MDB has no debt. It’s making money.
Mahathir:	If it’s true, then why 1MDB couldn’t pay its interests on time? Why need government to continue pumping money into 1MDB (*enjoying himself)?
Najib:	That’s a lie. 1MDB has no debt. It’s making money.
Mahathir:	From Cayman Island to Singapore Swiss Bank. Since it’s your own money in Cayman, why having trouble explaining to Bank Negara (Central Bank) if you want to bring it back to the country? As a Prime Minister as well as Finance Minister, you’re also in charge of 1MDB. Surely Bank Negara is more than happy about getting billions of dollars back to the country.
Najib:	1MDB assets is huge. 1MDB has no debt. It needs time.
Mahathir:	Jho Low claims he received orders from you, so you’re aware of his involvement in 1MDB. He also bought luxury homes in New York and Hollywood before selling it to your stepson Riza Aziz. Where did Riza get hundreds of millions of dollars?
Najib:	That’s a lie. It’s not true.
Mahathir:	Where did Riza get the money to buy luxury homes? And the money used for that “Wolf of Wall Street” film.
Najib:	As I said, Tun, that’s a lie and not true.
Mahathir:	But it was widely reported by presses in New York, London and the whole world.
Najib:	That’s a lie. It’s not true (*wiping saliva with his handkerchief*).
Mahathir:	Do you need a break or some tissues, perhaps (*smirk*).
Najib:	No, we can continue (*started to look uncomfortable*).
Mahathir:	Seriously, Mr Najib, why do you need another private jet when the existing ACJ319 serves you almost full-time? There’s a fleet of seven jets already. Why not you get one jumbo Boeing 747-8 VIP instead?
Najib:	747-8 VIP? Really, can I (*happy smile*)?
Mahathir:	No, you can’t. I was just pulling your leg (*grin*).
Najib:	But the next President of the United States will have one. It’s the safest plane for the country’s prime minister.
Mahathir:	You do know about the present economy uncertainties, don’t you? Yet, you went ahead with GST, which is burdening the people. I dare not even consider about GST during my time, because people hate such taxes. When people get angry, they will vote Barisan Nasional out. Have you thought of that?
Najib:	Aha (*brimming with pride*), that’s where BR1M comes into the picture, Tun. People couldn’t live without BR1M so they have to vote Barisan to get BR1M’s free money.
Mahathir:	But the people still didn’t vote for you despite billions spent on BR1M. You actually did worse than Abdullah Badawi. You realise that under your leadership, you only managed 47% of the popular votes, don’t you?
Najib:	But we’re still in power. That’s your personal view.
Mahathir:	One last question. Do you know what the people think GST stands for?
Najib:	Sure, doesn’t GST means Government Service Tax? Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the audience for supporting GST. For that, I think GST also means “Government Says Thanks” (*super proud*).
Mahathir:	Clearly, I’ve chosen the wrong prime minister, again (*sigh*). GST means “Golfing”, “Shopping”, “Travelling”, you idiot!!

 

Other Articles That May Interest You …

• Forget About ACJ320. Here’s Why Emperor Najib Should Get A 747-8 VIP
• Can GST Finally Breaks UMNO’s Malay VoteBank?
• Singapore’s Legendary Architect Lee Kuan Yew Passed Away, Aged 91
• 1MDB Scandal – An Ali-Baba “Scam” Partnership Goes Bust
• Cheating & Gerrymandering – Here’s How It Works
• 1MDB Scandal – Najib Bites Off More Than He Can Chew

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April 10th, 2015 by financetwitter

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