Gosh, this is getting ridiculous but yet hilarious. While everybody knows Malaysian Prime Minister, Najib Razak, is super-panic with the coming Bersih 2.0 (Coalition for Clean and Fair Elections) rally this coming July 9, nobody would guess his administration would become as paranoid as now. Not only his cousin, Home Minister Hishammuddin, was allergic to T-shirt with pictures of figures such as the long-dead Argentine revolutionary figure Che Guevara, the whole government is now allergic to yellow fever – yellow T-shirts.
One would fell off his/her chair laughing when the Home Minister took the easy way out by declaring whatever the Bersih participants wear are now illegal. You must be wonder why you can’t become the Home Minister yourself since it doesn’t take much intelligence, let alone academic qualifications to hold such position (*grin*). It seems the whole government now is constipating and whatever yellow would trigger their hormone that the communists are attacking them. Such comical scenario can only happen in this country.
Maybe it’s true when the Tourism Minister conveniently pluck the figure of RM1 billion as potential losses in tourism because of the Bersih 2.0 rally. Consider that Pamela Anderson, Sharukh Khan, Paris Hilton and even the whole team of Stephen Chow’s Sholin Soccer may avoid visiting the country simply because they may be accused as the “foreign element” that involved to create chaos in the country, one can forgive the Tourism Minister for being panicked.
Besides cracking down on yellow T-shirts, the government may have overlook other aspects such as the potential spread in yellow fever due to yellow fruits such as banana, corn, oranges and lemon (so please avoid ice lemon tea at those mamak store if you value your lives). These fruits are highly toxic and could cause hormone inbalance which somehow would mysteriously cause the consumers to join the Bersih rally, without even them realizing it. Such fruits are more dangerous than illegal street drugs such as cocaine and heroine.
While small dose would make you shake your butt non-stop as if you’ve taken Class A Ecstasy upon hearing people screaming “Freedom” or “Democracy”, large dose could potentially land you in serious trouble as you would perform moon-walker non-stop for the next four hours. Isn’t that dangerous? But that is not the worst part. The nightmare comes when you accidently wear yellow-colour under garments on the same day you eat those yellow fruits. You would then infected with hallucinosis, a disordered mental condition in which the sufferer is prone to hallucinations.
The dangerous (yet fun) part came when you start to imagine you’re Tiger Woods’ ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, in yellow sexy bikini or Shakira blowing kisses or Lady Gaga with yellow hairs. Of course you may get lucky and land yourself with contracts to sing the next World Cup’s sequel to Waka Waka or posing for Victoria Secret’s bikinis. Heck, the Malaysian Government is on its way to ban ducks, yellow-pages, yellow fish, yellow birds and even yellow flowers.
If you’re rich and own yellow Porsche, Lamborghini or Ferrari, you should do yourself a favor by re-paint it with other colours unless you don’t mind the police come without a warrant to confiscate your toys. Even if you own a yellow scooter, you should worry about getting jailed. Needless to say, Formula 1 team, Renault, is now banned from participating in F1 races held in this country. But do you know which company would go bankrupt and fold very soon? It’s none other than DiGi.com Berhad (KLSE: DIGI, stock-code 6947) because the company’s marketing brand is all about “Yellow” so this may be the foreign element that the IGP (Inspector General of Police) and Najib administration refered to that could create chaos to the country. Do I need to tell you to sell its shares?
Meanwhile, Bersih has started to bring its campaign in a big way to the internet in order to gauge peoples’ support towards its movement. Bersih objectives are as below:
- Reach 50,000 PicBadge Users – http://www.picbadges.com/bersih-2/1743665/
- Get 50,000 Facebook Likes on our Official Page – http://www.facebook.com/pages/BERSIH-20-OFFICIAL/213938935311531
- Get 10,000 followers on Twitter – http://twitter.com/bersih2
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